I have had a bad day today. Actually a bad last couple days. I have been very emotional and the strange feelings have elevated. I am currently on 120mg dose and I should be going to 110mg tomorrow morning. I think I am going to stick with the 120mg though until these feelings of strangeness go away. I do not want to get stuck in a withdrawal pattern of bad feelings ontop of bad feelings that haven't had time to peak and subside. If that makes sense. I started to see a pattern of about 2-3 days of no symptoms, then on the 4th day symptoms (mostly dizziness, irritablity, emotional and flu like syptoms.) They would last until about the 7th day and then subside. Until of course this dose which I was sure I would feel better today (7th day) but I still feel the bad effects. So hopefully it will only take a couple more days.
I just took a benadryl and I am hoping that it will make me sleep soon. I am thinking about taking a shower to relax me too. I have been waking up crying lately and thinking bad things. Right now I have this sense of doom coming over me which is very annoying. I also have the chills, a headache that has lasted 3 days and my senses are not all there. Wow! Who would have known someday when I would be happy enough to stop effexor that I would have to battle this. It helps me to think it is not me though, it is the drug...
I will write again once I have overcome some of these symptoms and I go down to the 110mg!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Irritablity
Here is another good link I am currently reading:
| the Effexor Activist|
I found this because I searched for "effexor and irritability." I started the 130mg yesterday. So far I have had a bad stomach, terribly stuffy and running nose, fatigued and the worst: irritability! I feel okay with the other symptoms but this irritability is making me angry! haha, Go figure right? It seems as if everything anyone does or even what I do myself makes me get annoyed. I am trying to tell myself it isn't me but even that annoys me. I just want to crawl under a rock and sleep for a while. My mom thinks I am PMSed, which very well could be because I am on day 20 of my cycle. I am known to have horrible pms symptoms every month. I read somewhere that Effexor makes these symptoms even worse and brings on heavier periods. I am excited to someday get to see if things change once I am off of it. Till then, I am going to pour myself another cup of coffee and take it slow.
Rant of the day:
I love my mom so very much, but I am not telling her that I am getting off of the Effexor until many months after I am off of it. I had to do that when I got off of my Trileptol also, which she took perfectly fine because she saw me happy. I am afraid that she would see certain aspects of my withdrawal symptoms and say that I immediately need to get back on them. My mom was the one who was right there with me when I went through my episode and the rough patch in my life. She is the one who tried everything in her power to make me whole again and would pay any amount to make me happy. Being there and seeing me in pain and not knowing how to stop it put her through hell. This is why I cannot tell her just yet. She does so much for my elderly family and everyone else that she doesn't deserve having to have to worry if being off the Effexor will make me "go crazy" again. I am in a calm loving part of my life and this drug is no longer needed, with all of its symptoms and dysfunctions. I have my husband, who is my rock, through this experience and I can tell that he is proud of me for having the courage to battle these withdrawals. Another reason I cannot tell my mom is that she is too trusting in doctors. Not to say that there isn't any good doctors, but most of them just don't know everything. Most of them are blinded by the hell that antidepressants are putting most people through and they don't even begin to know anything about the withdrawal. When telling my mom that I couldn't have a child unless I am off of Effexor, she argued that the doctor said it was perfectly fine. Again, I am not in any way having a child growing inside of me who is "hooked" on Effexor. The baby will undoubtedly suffer withdrawal symptoms straight out of the womb, which will in effect permanently damage parts of child's life. When a baby is growing inside the womb and then born, the brain is in its developing stages. Just imagine the effect of a brain developing while in a mist of antidepressant withdrawal effects. It seems too terrible to think about! This is why I cannot tell her, because someday when I am free of the Effexor and on my way to motherhood, she will see the reasons why I decided to do this, which is easier than explaining the facts which I have researched for quite a while now.
The last time I tried to get off of Effexor was when I was taking 300mg. I didn't research withdrawal effects at all. I wanted a change. So I just quit taking them! This was right after a break up with a boyfriend and I was working at the mall. I remember feeling depersonalized and manic. I also felt over emotional at times and ended up crying hysterically. My mom knew that I stopped taking the Effexor and called the doctor to tell him. Eventually I had to be hospitalized because I wouldn't speak, I felt crazy... again. They gave me a shot and it knocked me out, then I woke up the next day and took 150mg of Effexor and felt perfectly fine. I had to stay in the hospital for about 2-3 days to be monitored. It was such a strange experience going from feeling "crazy" and almost psychotic again to feeling completely normal the next day. I didn't know it at the time but I was having severe Effexor withdrawals with all the side effects! I remember staring at the floor, trembling and being terrified of my own body. I don't even think it was a week from when I stopped taking them that this all took place. As I am reading the books on antidepressant withdrawal and seeing stories of other's withdrawal experience I realized that was what it was. It makes me feel better that I didn't have another psychosis which is what I thought it was in the first place. At least that will not happen now because of all the research, books and slow withdrawal that I am doing. It is better safe than sorry!
I am very happy that I am doing the bead method instead of dropping to the next capsule amount which is 75mg. I know my doctor would prescribe that for me. I am already feeling withdrawal symptoms, yet tolerable. I would be a mess if I took such a large leap from 150mg to 75mg! Everyone’s biochemistry is different and I bet many people have done this successfully, but I know it wouldn't have turned out well for me. If there is anyone reading this who has taken a large drop, let me know how it turned out for you.
I am going to get back to work. I will post more later!
| the Effexor Activist|
I found this because I searched for "effexor and irritability." I started the 130mg yesterday. So far I have had a bad stomach, terribly stuffy and running nose, fatigued and the worst: irritability! I feel okay with the other symptoms but this irritability is making me angry! haha, Go figure right? It seems as if everything anyone does or even what I do myself makes me get annoyed. I am trying to tell myself it isn't me but even that annoys me. I just want to crawl under a rock and sleep for a while. My mom thinks I am PMSed, which very well could be because I am on day 20 of my cycle. I am known to have horrible pms symptoms every month. I read somewhere that Effexor makes these symptoms even worse and brings on heavier periods. I am excited to someday get to see if things change once I am off of it. Till then, I am going to pour myself another cup of coffee and take it slow.
Rant of the day:
I love my mom so very much, but I am not telling her that I am getting off of the Effexor until many months after I am off of it. I had to do that when I got off of my Trileptol also, which she took perfectly fine because she saw me happy. I am afraid that she would see certain aspects of my withdrawal symptoms and say that I immediately need to get back on them. My mom was the one who was right there with me when I went through my episode and the rough patch in my life. She is the one who tried everything in her power to make me whole again and would pay any amount to make me happy. Being there and seeing me in pain and not knowing how to stop it put her through hell. This is why I cannot tell her just yet. She does so much for my elderly family and everyone else that she doesn't deserve having to have to worry if being off the Effexor will make me "go crazy" again. I am in a calm loving part of my life and this drug is no longer needed, with all of its symptoms and dysfunctions. I have my husband, who is my rock, through this experience and I can tell that he is proud of me for having the courage to battle these withdrawals. Another reason I cannot tell my mom is that she is too trusting in doctors. Not to say that there isn't any good doctors, but most of them just don't know everything. Most of them are blinded by the hell that antidepressants are putting most people through and they don't even begin to know anything about the withdrawal. When telling my mom that I couldn't have a child unless I am off of Effexor, she argued that the doctor said it was perfectly fine. Again, I am not in any way having a child growing inside of me who is "hooked" on Effexor. The baby will undoubtedly suffer withdrawal symptoms straight out of the womb, which will in effect permanently damage parts of child's life. When a baby is growing inside the womb and then born, the brain is in its developing stages. Just imagine the effect of a brain developing while in a mist of antidepressant withdrawal effects. It seems too terrible to think about! This is why I cannot tell her, because someday when I am free of the Effexor and on my way to motherhood, she will see the reasons why I decided to do this, which is easier than explaining the facts which I have researched for quite a while now.
The last time I tried to get off of Effexor was when I was taking 300mg. I didn't research withdrawal effects at all. I wanted a change. So I just quit taking them! This was right after a break up with a boyfriend and I was working at the mall. I remember feeling depersonalized and manic. I also felt over emotional at times and ended up crying hysterically. My mom knew that I stopped taking the Effexor and called the doctor to tell him. Eventually I had to be hospitalized because I wouldn't speak, I felt crazy... again. They gave me a shot and it knocked me out, then I woke up the next day and took 150mg of Effexor and felt perfectly fine. I had to stay in the hospital for about 2-3 days to be monitored. It was such a strange experience going from feeling "crazy" and almost psychotic again to feeling completely normal the next day. I didn't know it at the time but I was having severe Effexor withdrawals with all the side effects! I remember staring at the floor, trembling and being terrified of my own body. I don't even think it was a week from when I stopped taking them that this all took place. As I am reading the books on antidepressant withdrawal and seeing stories of other's withdrawal experience I realized that was what it was. It makes me feel better that I didn't have another psychosis which is what I thought it was in the first place. At least that will not happen now because of all the research, books and slow withdrawal that I am doing. It is better safe than sorry!
I am very happy that I am doing the bead method instead of dropping to the next capsule amount which is 75mg. I know my doctor would prescribe that for me. I am already feeling withdrawal symptoms, yet tolerable. I would be a mess if I took such a large leap from 150mg to 75mg! Everyone’s biochemistry is different and I bet many people have done this successfully, but I know it wouldn't have turned out well for me. If there is anyone reading this who has taken a large drop, let me know how it turned out for you.
I am going to get back to work. I will post more later!
Friday, August 6, 2010
Information and Rants
It is day five of my withdrawing and I am still on a relatively high dose but I like to think of anything as an accomplishment. The headache has left completely but I woke up today feeling extremely dizzy and woozy. I was also very anxious and irritable last night but got over it quickly with some relaxation. Overall it isn't too bad.
I am in no way an expert on withdrawing because I have only been using the bead method for almost a week, but I have gained a lot of great knowledge from posts and books like the Antidepressant Solution. Here is some notes that I would like to share:
• DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANT “COLD TURKEY”: Withdrawal symptoms are your brain cells regenerating themselves, though they are unpleasant, there is almost no way to get around it. Depending on your unique body chemistry, you may have better or worse withdrawal symptoms. However, no one should stop taking the dose they are on “cold turkey” no matter how strong your will might be. Doing this can cause severe problems and even life-long side effects. The side effects of withdrawing off of Effexor or any antidepressant are because your brain is literally changing and reshaping its way of functioning. Different antidepressants are designed to boost different chemical messengers. Take Effexor for example, it uptakes your serotonin and norepinephrine depending on the dose. Your brain has to adapt. This is why it takes 3 or more weeks for the effects to kick in, your brain needs time. There is no reason why your brain wouldn’t need time when you are coming off of the drug. Stopping suddenly is like running a triathlon without training your body. Your brain needs new “training” so that it can learn how to function with the diminishing dose of the antidepressant. I have noticed that people who get the severe “electric shock” sensations are usually the ones who drop the dose too suddenly or stop cold turkey. Those are brain cells and nerves firing because it wasn’t properly trained enough to handle without the dose it is used to. There is no test to find out what that electric sensation is doing and if it will cause any form of brain cell or nerve damage. This is a reason good enough to NOT stop cold turkey and take the route of slowly tapering off.
• Effexor can show its withdrawal symptoms within 1-2 days of missing a dose: Effexor has a very short half-life. A half-life is how long it takes for half of the dose to be eliminated from your body. This is why withdrawal symptoms happen from even missing one dose. I have realized that a lot of my side effects of Effexor were probably due to me taking it at different times of the day. The half-life is about 5 hours, so my body was constantly in limbo. This is why you should always take it at the same exact time of the day. Same thing for tapering off. Also drink a lot of water to help eliminate faster. This way your withdrawal symptoms will peak and subside so that you can start your next lower dose without a worsening of symptoms.
• If your withdrawal symptoms are severe, wait for them to subside: As I mentioned about drinking water to help eliminate faster, you shouldn’t allow the withdrawal symptoms to fall into the next dose. Once again your brain needs time to re-adjust itself. Once the withdrawal symptoms peak (usually 1-2 days) you should pay attention to how you feel. If your withdrawal symptoms are not bad and tolerable, then feel free to move onto the next lower dose. If the symptoms are so severe that you cannot function the same, you need to slow down and give it another week on the same dose. This is the only way to prevent a worsening of the overall withdrawal.
My rant of the day:
Doctors prescribe antidepressants because of the belief that a person has a faulty neurotransmitter activity in the brain which is not allowing enough of the “good chemicals” (serotonin, etc) to get in. Prescribing an antidepressant is supposed to delay the neurotransmitter to function which in turn will increase the levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, etc. This is supposed to elevate your mood because serotonin reuptake receptor was not working correctly and you had a chemical imbalance in your brain. All of us with the diagnosis of manic depressants or bipolar have heard it before. This is what gets me. When you were described the antidepressant for your “chemical imbalance,” what test was done to see that you truly had this imbalance they speak of? In most cases the doctor talks to you for half an hour and makes a blatant assumption that your brain isn’t working correctly. Once, while in a psych ward, I asked the doctor how he knew that I had a chemical imbalance and he told me I was being difficult. I agree that I there are people who do have imbalances, but to this day there is no test to tell us where or what that imbalance is. So why is it so easy to prescribe something that will change your brain and nervous system’s entire way of functioning? This is something that won’t be soon changed because of the high price of antidepressants and the vast majority of lobbyists, but it needs to be addressed sooner than later. Until then, we just have to fight for our rights, speak what we believe and remember to not trust every word we hear. Do your own research and come to a conclusion through questions, self-examination and persistence. Don’t trust someone simply because of their authority position. That is truly the only way out of this over-medicated hole we have dug ourselves into.
I am in no way an expert on withdrawing because I have only been using the bead method for almost a week, but I have gained a lot of great knowledge from posts and books like the Antidepressant Solution. Here is some notes that I would like to share:
• DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANT “COLD TURKEY”: Withdrawal symptoms are your brain cells regenerating themselves, though they are unpleasant, there is almost no way to get around it. Depending on your unique body chemistry, you may have better or worse withdrawal symptoms. However, no one should stop taking the dose they are on “cold turkey” no matter how strong your will might be. Doing this can cause severe problems and even life-long side effects. The side effects of withdrawing off of Effexor or any antidepressant are because your brain is literally changing and reshaping its way of functioning. Different antidepressants are designed to boost different chemical messengers. Take Effexor for example, it uptakes your serotonin and norepinephrine depending on the dose. Your brain has to adapt. This is why it takes 3 or more weeks for the effects to kick in, your brain needs time. There is no reason why your brain wouldn’t need time when you are coming off of the drug. Stopping suddenly is like running a triathlon without training your body. Your brain needs new “training” so that it can learn how to function with the diminishing dose of the antidepressant. I have noticed that people who get the severe “electric shock” sensations are usually the ones who drop the dose too suddenly or stop cold turkey. Those are brain cells and nerves firing because it wasn’t properly trained enough to handle without the dose it is used to. There is no test to find out what that electric sensation is doing and if it will cause any form of brain cell or nerve damage. This is a reason good enough to NOT stop cold turkey and take the route of slowly tapering off.
• Effexor can show its withdrawal symptoms within 1-2 days of missing a dose: Effexor has a very short half-life. A half-life is how long it takes for half of the dose to be eliminated from your body. This is why withdrawal symptoms happen from even missing one dose. I have realized that a lot of my side effects of Effexor were probably due to me taking it at different times of the day. The half-life is about 5 hours, so my body was constantly in limbo. This is why you should always take it at the same exact time of the day. Same thing for tapering off. Also drink a lot of water to help eliminate faster. This way your withdrawal symptoms will peak and subside so that you can start your next lower dose without a worsening of symptoms.
• If your withdrawal symptoms are severe, wait for them to subside: As I mentioned about drinking water to help eliminate faster, you shouldn’t allow the withdrawal symptoms to fall into the next dose. Once again your brain needs time to re-adjust itself. Once the withdrawal symptoms peak (usually 1-2 days) you should pay attention to how you feel. If your withdrawal symptoms are not bad and tolerable, then feel free to move onto the next lower dose. If the symptoms are so severe that you cannot function the same, you need to slow down and give it another week on the same dose. This is the only way to prevent a worsening of the overall withdrawal.
My rant of the day:
Doctors prescribe antidepressants because of the belief that a person has a faulty neurotransmitter activity in the brain which is not allowing enough of the “good chemicals” (serotonin, etc) to get in. Prescribing an antidepressant is supposed to delay the neurotransmitter to function which in turn will increase the levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, etc. This is supposed to elevate your mood because serotonin reuptake receptor was not working correctly and you had a chemical imbalance in your brain. All of us with the diagnosis of manic depressants or bipolar have heard it before. This is what gets me. When you were described the antidepressant for your “chemical imbalance,” what test was done to see that you truly had this imbalance they speak of? In most cases the doctor talks to you for half an hour and makes a blatant assumption that your brain isn’t working correctly. Once, while in a psych ward, I asked the doctor how he knew that I had a chemical imbalance and he told me I was being difficult. I agree that I there are people who do have imbalances, but to this day there is no test to tell us where or what that imbalance is. So why is it so easy to prescribe something that will change your brain and nervous system’s entire way of functioning? This is something that won’t be soon changed because of the high price of antidepressants and the vast majority of lobbyists, but it needs to be addressed sooner than later. Until then, we just have to fight for our rights, speak what we believe and remember to not trust every word we hear. Do your own research and come to a conclusion through questions, self-examination and persistence. Don’t trust someone simply because of their authority position. That is truly the only way out of this over-medicated hole we have dug ourselves into.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Head pain and Hungry
So I started the 140mg dose on Monday along with my new supplements. I really didn't think I would feel a thing different since it is only 10 effexor beads! So far it is going okay, but I definitely am feeling things. On the first day, I felt a strange feeling of sharp, fast vertigo. It went away very quickly but for a second it made my entire world spin. On Tuesday, I felt very dizzy again and SUPER hungry. Apparently this is a side effect because I am not the type to snack a lot or enjoy eating in between meals. My husband picked me up a bunch of snacks and I ate them like I was high. It felt just like the munchies! I am actually hungry right now too.. I hope this doesn't keep up. I have been working out everyday though and trying to eat right. I have also been very fatigued, it could be from getting up earlier than usual, but I just feel weak all the time. Today feels the worse so far, I just feel uneasy and a bit anxious. I am hoping today is the worst and it peaks now so that I can continue on reducing every Monday.
I am still reading this incredible book, "The Antidepressant Solution" and it makes me feel better. Anyone taking an antidepressant from paxil, prozac, effexor, zoloft and so on should read this book. Even if you are not ready to get off of the antidepressant, it will give you some good information on what is to come. I wish that there was a way for doctors to be made to read this book or do research on antidepressant withdrawal, it could save people! I get so discouraged when I hear that doctors are handing out antidepressants like candy to anyone that has a headache or a single anxious feeling. These pills are not safe and they do have serious side effects. If I see one more commercial saying "non habit forming" I will scream. If you cannot wean off of them in a timely matter without going through hell, then yes FDA they are habit forming. Once again I get cynical, but it feels good to let it out. The more people tell their story and tell the world how they feel, the more they will get smarter on not trusting every magic pill or word the doctor says.
Off to try and relax my headache away...
I am still reading this incredible book, "The Antidepressant Solution" and it makes me feel better. Anyone taking an antidepressant from paxil, prozac, effexor, zoloft and so on should read this book. Even if you are not ready to get off of the antidepressant, it will give you some good information on what is to come. I wish that there was a way for doctors to be made to read this book or do research on antidepressant withdrawal, it could save people! I get so discouraged when I hear that doctors are handing out antidepressants like candy to anyone that has a headache or a single anxious feeling. These pills are not safe and they do have serious side effects. If I see one more commercial saying "non habit forming" I will scream. If you cannot wean off of them in a timely matter without going through hell, then yes FDA they are habit forming. Once again I get cynical, but it feels good to let it out. The more people tell their story and tell the world how they feel, the more they will get smarter on not trusting every magic pill or word the doctor says.
Off to try and relax my headache away...
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