Thursday, December 30, 2010

Cold and Coping

So it is almost New Years! It is actually New Years Eve and my resolution is to be off all pills. Who would have thought? haha

Sunday will be my last day of 5mg and then NO MORE EFFEXOR!!! Can you see the confetti falling? I am very happy!

I haven't had a terrible week. The withdrawals have been stable and the same everyday so it is easier to cope with. I have realized that in higher miligrams of the pill, the withdrawals were a lot more sporatic and scary. Now they tend to come at around midnight and last only for 30 minutes. I do take benydril and xanax to calm the withdrawals down and it helps tremendously. I have to say the scariest of all the withdrawals for me is the shakes and tremors. I am okay with being dizzy and nauseaus (to a point) but when I get the shakes, I get SO scared! It is almost like I am having a seizure but being conscious through it, my muscles just go crazy. Hopefully those are over for good! I also find a nice hot shower does the trick in calming my body down.

I am also getting off of Singulair. Today was my first day of stopping to take it. I decided to look it up today and a lot of the side effects are not worth taking it. I hope my asthma doesn't get too bad though. This year has been the best so far with the asthma, I haven't even had to take steriods! I think it is because of the supplements I have added to my diet. I also added Quercetin which is a flavonoid that has anti-inflammatory properties. I really think it is helping me a lot with the asthma and IBS as they are both inflammation diseases. As for the singulair, I hope it doesn't cause much trouble going off of it. I have been taking it for a long while. Guess what the side effects are? Weight gain and depression. Those are two things that I am trying to stay away from! I have also read that there are increased suicide rates when using Singulair because of the neurotransmitters that it affects. No thank you!!

Something positive happened today, in a weird way. My car's battery died and my husband and I cannot get into the door because the key is electrical. Ridiculous, I know. That doesn't sound like something postive, does it? But the reason I say it is positive is because I didn't freak out! For the first time in forever, I didn't have rage and irritation. I was okay, and hopefully this will be my new way. I will be okay.

Beside that, I have been freezing all day! Usually I have hot flashes, even in the coldest weather, but today everything from my fingers to toes have been cold! Maybe it is hormones that have been affected by the lowering Effexor? Maybe it is unrelated? Whatever it is... I like it =)

Happy New Year!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Petition to the makers of Effexor

http://www.petitiononline.com/effexor/petition.html

I am number 23 THOUSAND something on this petition. They are still pushing these drugs when over 23 THOUSAND people are unable to function correctly and even accounts of death from this drug?

YouTube - Pink - Fucking Perfect Lyrics

YouTube - Pink - Fucking Perfect Lyrics

I love this song! It makes me think of all the people who go to the doctor and say "I have anxiety" or "I am sad sometimes" and they are prescribed these horrible antidepressants that ruin peoples life and they don't even know it!

"If you ever feel like you are nothing, you are perfect."

We are humans and it is fine to feel depressed sometimes, it is fine to have anxiety and this is LIFE. LIFE takes work and it requires patience, love and building yourself to become what you want to be. It should not require taking chemicals that are made by companies looking for money, not for the good of their customers. We need to build coping skills to live in this crazy life. There is no magic pill that will take away the reality of life!!

BTW, I am on 10mg of effexor and 10mg of prozac starting today! I got through the first week of 20mg effexor with 10mg prozac pretty well beside a few withdrawal attacks! I am hoping I do not get the withdrawals later as they come at night, but I am feeling really good today and I have been feeling better. I have a sense of excitement as I feel these pills leave my system! =)

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

OUTRAGED.

YouTube - In Memory of Indiana (Effexor Infant Death Antidepressants Pregnancy MOTHERS Act)

This is DISTURBING and DISGUSTING!!! I cannot believe my "reknowned" doctor looked me in the eyes and told me that I could be PREGNANT while on EFFEXOR. EVIL!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Prozac and chocolate

Well I made it through one of the worst withdrawals I have ever had and I am hoping and praying that it does happen again. Here are my symptoms that have been occurring nightly for the last couple weeks u deer 35mg:

-Rage: horrible fits of rage, even when I wake up in the morning and have nothing to be angry about. I get so bitter and so angry that I have a need to say horrible things. This in turn makes me very sad and I eventually start crying which again makes me angry! I read something today about the rage and short fuse which is so common to withdrawal. It said that the neurotransmitter that the withdrAwal of seretonin is affecting is the fight or flight response in our brain. So technically I am feeling such rage and irritation because the stress receptors in my brain are broken right now and trying to readapt themselves. I truly have an amazing husband to be able to cope with my constant bad attitude lately.
-Feeling like I am floating: this is a constant thing but it is easier to handle than the emotional effects.
-Menstrual problems: my period has always been normal, 28 days, one day of cramps, 5 days long, very predictable. The last two cycles have been HELL! I seem to have cramps 24 hours now and my period keeps stopping and starting. Before the period comes I have the most heightened pms symptoms I have ever experienced. Hopefully after I am off effexor it will normalize.
-dizziness and spinning when I lay down.
-anxiety and being scared
-trembling and shaking

So I have done some research and have decided to take 10mg of prozac along with the lower effexor dosage. I just don't see myself being able to do it another way. Today I took 20mg of Effexor and 10 of prozac, I will see if it helps later at night when the withdrawals are usually the worst.

Oh and I have been craving chocolate and lots of it, I learned today that when you are withdrawing your brain is low on lecithin which is in the chocolate. I have been wondering why all I want to do is eat chocolate all day. Actually I Want some right now.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Effexor Withdrawal --Doctors Lounge(TM)

Effexor Withdrawal --Doctors Lounge(TM)

Here I am again, searching for experiences from others to make me feel less insane. It is working I suppose. I want to hug all these people, because they know how I feel right now. The uncontrollable crying, and rage. I am so angry, so lifeless. I feel everything yet nothing at all.

I am terrified that I cannot get under 30mg without shaking and having tremors like I did last night. I also saw snow, my visual field was cloudy and blurry. I almost thought I was going blind. I thought I was having a heart attack. The brain shocks and other symptoms have been fine, I thought it wasn't as bad as I read, but then comes the 25mg. 25mg is like a shot to my brain.

I am depressed and I don't want to do anything. It is a constant roller coaster and I am thinking about taking Prozac to overcome these last doses. I have read it is easier to wean off effexor if you take the Prozac, then there is no withdrawal to that. I am so confused.

I am also getting my period and maybe that is why it is so bad. Last time I got my period I ended up in the emergency room a day before it came with the nausea and passing out. Is this going to be my pms for the rest of my life without Effexor? OR is this because of the withdrawals?

I didn't believe everything I read online about under 37.5mg being hell. I thought it would be the same as when I was at 80mg or 60mg...but its not...its living torture.

I would love to sue the hell out of these fucks that made this evil pill. The E-Bomb as my husband calls it. I have spent $500 a month on this POISON for 6 YEARS!! Just to find out it this is how it would be when coming off of it? Fucking world full of greedy pricks who just count the dollar signs instead of actually caring for people. Oh well.

Off to my husband's brother's wedding tomorrow, I am terrified that I will start shaking and trembling like I did last night at 3am, or I will have some crazy fit of rage. Maybe I will chug the sangria... :(

Horrible.

I haven't posted in a while. I am currently at 25mg, or 30mg, since I just popped a 5ml. I am terrified right now. It is 3 am. I couldn't sleep because I was nauseas and then I started tremboling like nothing I ever have before. My vision is cloudy, it is like there is snow. I can't even type right now...