So I never made it down to 55mg. I am still doing 60mg for another week. Hopefully my body will normalize in the slightest bit before I go down to 55. I felt good yesterday physically, but mentally I was still a little off. Today is even worse I think. I feel like I am in a dreamy state where everything pisses me off. I don't even understand everything quite right today either, the only thing I do understand is how much people and ideas piss me off. I am also in severe self-doubt of myself, my life and my job. Everything that I could possibly think of today turns into something bad. I am fearful that I will feel this way forever and that Effexor has permanently affected me. I know that my brain is playing tricks on me. I know that my brain is regenerating itself and I am going to feel pains and mind-games for a little while. I just am having a hard time today. Actually the whole last week has been hard...
I feel bad for my husband because I get really angry at him. I constantly switch from being happy to feeling entitled, to feeling sad and depressed. Stupid me and my mouth. I constantly talk about how I feel which probably isn't that much fun for anyone, but it makes me feel better so I do it. Which again makes me feel annoyed at myself for being so selfish. It is all a self illusive circle of shit. To top it all off I have this headache from hell which feels "electric" if that makes any sense at all.
I am just not a happy person right now. Maybe it will get better soon... Maybe I will see all the amazing things I have to be happy for that I know exist. There are so many good things, that I am too bitch-sighted to see right now. Stupid effexor and it's annoying brain changing bull shit... anyone put on effexor should get disability...
Monday, October 25, 2010
I like this guy.
I love this guy's rant... makes my brain hurt, oh no..wait thats the effexor. F*CK
Lliam of toronto, ON May 11, 2010
what happened? some genius marketing guru realized that the best way to profit from illness was to make a drug that supposedly "relieves symptoms of depression" (nice cover) when the REAL deal is that they are systematically and PURPOSEFULLY addicting hordes of desperate, depressed people who feel trapped by their illness. This drug is WORSE than heroin, or meth.. both of which i have had experience with.. the withdrawal from heroin ONLY lasts a WEEk.. and that isnt even as bad as coming off of effexor.. at least from heroin you are only bedridden, shivering, sweating, vomiting, unable to move or talk.... take all those symptoms, multipoly them by 4, add these super fun and OH SO DESIRABLE body shocks (zaps, shivers, sprongs, whatever people call them) and stretch the duration out over SIX WEEKS.. and then you APPROACH a god description of effexor withdrawals..
Read more: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/rx/wyeth.html#ixzz13Pa4GFTN
Lliam of toronto, ON May 11, 2010
what happened? some genius marketing guru realized that the best way to profit from illness was to make a drug that supposedly "relieves symptoms of depression" (nice cover) when the REAL deal is that they are systematically and PURPOSEFULLY addicting hordes of desperate, depressed people who feel trapped by their illness. This drug is WORSE than heroin, or meth.. both of which i have had experience with.. the withdrawal from heroin ONLY lasts a WEEk.. and that isnt even as bad as coming off of effexor.. at least from heroin you are only bedridden, shivering, sweating, vomiting, unable to move or talk.... take all those symptoms, multipoly them by 4, add these super fun and OH SO DESIRABLE body shocks (zaps, shivers, sprongs, whatever people call them) and stretch the duration out over SIX WEEKS.. and then you APPROACH a god description of effexor withdrawals..
Read more: http://www.consumeraffairs.com/rx/wyeth.html#ixzz13Pa4GFTN
Consumer complaints about Wyeth Effexor
I hate EFFEXOR!!! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!!! I feel like crap again today, yesterday was better and today is worse...when will this hell of a roller coaster ride END?!?!
Consumer complaints about Wyeth Effexor
Consumer complaints about Wyeth Effexor
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Arrrgh I want to scream
I have not posted in a long time due to the ups and downs of life. My husband quit his job and is now working with me. My mom is getting knee replacement surgery and time seems to fly by now more than ever. I decided to write in today because I am on day two of 60mg and I am only dropping 5mg a week. Last week I told my husband I was so happy because my withdrawals have been great, the dizziness and shocks have really turned down. Now comes this week, yesterday I was miserable. I had no energy, everything drove me crazy and I had to nap during the day to not burst. Today is even worse. I had to stop working and come to bed because I couldn't stop crying. I had an irrational fear of going crazy and I just have no motivation to work. Everything about work drives me crazy, the stupid people who ask irrelevant questions and the way things work which I usually do every day with no problem. Today it is different, today I am feeling forced to live and forced to have a happy attitude. My husband told me to relax and that I am freaking out about stupid things. This just makes me more mad. No one knows what I feel like right now. No one actually shares my pain because they are not in my head, I am alone. How depressing.
Hopefully I will feel better within a few days. Maybe this drop of effexor is a really bad one, maybe all the subtle drops have caught up with my brain and I am in the middle of a minor brain regenerating meltdown. Who knows. At least the dizziness and the shocks are gone. However I might trade those back for this feeling of not being able to take simple things that happen and always wanting to cry. Someday I will feel better. Someday my brain will be healed off this roller coaster of regeneration and I will be better, right? That is what I keep hoping.
Hopefully I will feel better within a few days. Maybe this drop of effexor is a really bad one, maybe all the subtle drops have caught up with my brain and I am in the middle of a minor brain regenerating meltdown. Who knows. At least the dizziness and the shocks are gone. However I might trade those back for this feeling of not being able to take simple things that happen and always wanting to cry. Someday I will feel better. Someday my brain will be healed off this roller coaster of regeneration and I will be better, right? That is what I keep hoping.
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